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ACT I: SCENE 4: THE TOWER OF FAIRY TOADLICK
The elves appear with bits of equipment and start to assemble it. They could do this to music in a dance sort of way, or simply with a lot of giggling. Depending on the complexity of the scene change and the drunkenness of the stage crew this dance can be extended to fill any gap in timing. As soon as possible Fairy T and Yurinn arrive.
YURINN: But you’re dry and back home now so stop moaning.
FAIRY TOADLICK: STOP moaning?! I haven’t even STARTED yet!
YURINN: Urgh! Elves! Get away! (They do)
FAIRY TOADLICK: Ah-ha: it has arrived! (Quickly inspects equipment and looks at instruction scroll)
YURINN: Is it something to make you beautiful?
FAIRY TOADLICK: Mmm? No; it’s – (Thinks) Here; what do you mean by that?
YURINN: (Looks behind, confused) What?
FAIRY TOADLICK: Get over here. This is a new invention – it is called Elec-Trickery. But how much will it need to kill a princess? (Presses switch; lights come on; adjusts dial and there is a humming & dimming of the lights) I need to test it. Yurinn! Hold this! (Gives him rod on end of curly wire).
YURINN: Will this hurt?
FAIRY TOADLICK: No; I won’t feel a thing. (She turns the dial again; Yurinn looks alarmed then starts to twitch; he makes a weird yodelling sound. Lights flicker & the hum rises slightly.) Let’s try the next setting. (Repeat but more) Still not enough. (Repeat but even more). (To Aud) Children – be sure NOT to try this at home. One more go... (Repeat but lots more; higher yodelling notes).
YURINN: I’m pretty sure I’ve had enough now; thanks for the job but...
FAIRY TOADLICK: You get back there! I had an idea! Orchestra, please.
Orchestra plays intro to a yodelling song such as: ‘The Lonely Goatherd’ from The Sound of Music by Rogers and Hammerstein. With the yodelling bit Fairy T turns the dial and Yurinn wails/yodels in distress. Much flickering and buzzing.
YURINN: That was horrid!
FAIRY TOADLICK: Don’t be such a baby!
YURINN: You’re right. No hard feelings. (Holds hand out to shake. At last Yurinn minute grabs the electric rod; much buzzing and light flickering; they both shake and wail and at the big conclusion there is an electric-style pyro or at least a loud bang and a double scream, and a blackout.