·	A principal girl who can’t act.

·	A principal boy who can’t sing.

·	A company with an average age of 75 (only 3 definitely male and even then you’re not too sure about one of them).

·	A stage with virtually no wing space for scenery.

·	An orchestra of one (unless the drummer gets out of rehab in time).

·	Some scenery left over from a production of Fiddler On The Roof.

·	Several parents who want to see their darlings on the stage but “NOT as monkeys this year”.

·	A budget of 12 p and some M&S vouchers.

·	You need a script that fits - by next Monday for the Committee meeting.

·	You have looked at other web sites and at published scripts and - like the rest of us -  found them awful